First Name: Blank Last Name: Boykewich
by Eriika Joy.K15
Summary: This is just a story I came up with after last week's Secret Life episode. Rated T for sadness and general Secret Life stuff. Read&Review no flames please.Re-titled
1. First name:Blank Last name: Boykewich

First Name: " " Last Name: Boykewich

**AN. I came up with this the Tuesday after …Or Not to Be was on. This has spoilers for secret life of the American teenager episode 326 …Or Not to Be . It is really sad. And the only reason it took me this long to get it up was because I was on my class trip when I wrote it. Tell me what you think no flames please, and I own nothing that has to do with Secret Life of the American Teenager.**

It was Thursday when I started towards the light. It was white and blinding and everything else was dark and black. I was floating.

After I got the light at the end of the tunnel (on Friday) I knew everything.

I knew Amy and Ricky where going on a date, I knew that Lauren wanted to break up with her boyfriend. I knew Madison and Jack had decides to not have sex, I knew what sex was, and I knew that Tom was getting married to a girl he met on the bus. And I knew that she had two children.

I knew Kathleen did not want to go to Africa with Jeff, I knew that Ashley and Toby had taken the GED and placed out of high school. I knew grace wanted to meet Angie and that grant did not want her to, and why.

I also knew John. And I knew that if I had lived we would have been best friends despite all of our parents fighting. I knew about the fighting too, and I knew that my mom had dated Ricky and that my dad had dated Amy. I knew that Ricky and my mom had been accepted to the same collage.

I also knew something that no one at all knew yet, I knew that my parents were going to the hospital to give birth to me, and I knew they were in for the shock of their loves because I was dead.

I just watched as they went all happen expecting me to be fine. I wanted to sob when I came out dead. And when they held my dead body I wanted to scream "mom dad I love you" but I knew they would not hear me.

I saw them crying and if I had the ability to cry I would have.

I saw my grandparents-Leo, Ruben, and Cindy- run to the hospital. I saw my mom on the phone with Tom saying "I can't talk now I'm at the hospital"

I saw him start spreading word the "Adrian and Ben were having the baby"

I watched as Tom told Jack, Kathleen and Jeff, I watched as Aunt Alice and Uncle Henry found out. I watched as Madison and Lauren found out, as Ashley, Toby, Ann, and George found out. I watched as Grace, Grant and Angie found out. And I wanted to scream "NNNNNOOOOOO!" when Amy and Ricky found out.

I watched them all go to the hospital happy… waiting for me to come… dreading seeing their reactions when they found out I was dead.

I got sadder as each one found out. I wanted to yell when Alice and Henrys faces dropped. I wanted to cry with anger when Madison and Lauren hugged each other, when Jack put his arm around Tom I felt like sobbing, and when Grant held Grace I wanted to die all over again.

But what hurt the most was when Amy and Ricky found out. They have a son too, and when my dad begged Amy to see my mom I wanted him to stop. I saw how much this was hurting my mom, and how much she needed Amy right now, but I also saw how scared Amy was to see my mom, and how sad Ricky was. I saw how much they were thinking about John.

But Amy finally did go to my mom, she lied next to her and they hugged and cried… for me. I saw my dad hug Henry and Alice, and I saw him fall to the ground and I saw Ricky help him up.

I looked away it was too much pain for me to feel… I had just been bore and already I felt more pain than any new born is capable of. I felt something touch my shoulder and I turned around. I saw a woman standing in front of me, I had never seen her before but already I knew she was my grandmother. My dad's mom, she hugged me and I wanted to cry more.

"I know I know it's a lot of grief" she said.

"It hurts so much" I said

"The only reason you feel their pain is because they are the people who love and care about you" she said

"But I'm not even alive. How can they love someone they've never met?" I asked

"It's hard to explain it will come to you in time" and in the moment she said it I knew what she meant. I knew the felling of love, all of them down there in the hospital cared about me enough to be sad I was dead and my grandmother loved me too. I loved all of them but they would never know how much.

"What's your name?" my grandmother asked me. And I could not answer, I knew my last name was Boykewich but my parents had never given me a first name. My first name was a blank.


	2. Mom Get Over Me

**AN: Thanks to secretlife1201 for giving me the idea to continue this story. Thank you. This chapter is set In last week's episode of secret life 401 When One Door Closes. **

Mom, Get Over Me

It was 8 weeks since my birthday, and death day for all that matter, and I was still seeing everything that was going on in the land of the living for example Ricky and Amy having sex (_yeah I see that)_ and lots of it.( _I get it after I die you start sleeping together nice to know how much you care),_ but really I couldn't blame them. If they want to have sex they can it's not my problem.

So I was just sitting with my legs crossed, well actually I was floating but same thing, absent minded in, well I actually did not know where I was. It wasn't quite heaven, it was certainly not hell, and I was not in the land of the living. So I was floating in this... limbo, just letting myself drift when I heard a yell from below.

"I don't want to get over it!"

I looked down to see my mother yelling at my father. Again, they were having yet another rough morning.

I watched my dad go to school all sad and stuff, and I saw my mom stay home upset for yet another day. Dad was a bit better at dealing with it then mom was.

I watched him as he went to Amy and asked her to go and talk to my mom again, and I knew she wanted to help, but I also saw that Ricky was too concentrated on my mom NOT knowing that he and Amy were moving in together. (_Pathetic)_

At lunch Amy went to go talk to my mom. It was all fine, but I was shocked to hear her say that dad was still in love with her, and that she was still in love with him. I mean what's with that? I knew that even if he had been in love with her at a time that time was now over. I also knew that he did not want to be tied down to a marriage at age 17 and she should not be tied down to a marriage at age 18. Even if I had lived. I also felt that she should continue seeing a therapist, even if it wasn't Dr Fields. She needs to talk to someone.

I was floating around, just thinking when I heard a voice behind me.

"You know you could tell her how you feel?"

I turned around and saw my grandmother floating behind me.

"How?" I asked "How can I tell her when one: I have no ability to talk to her and two: I have no ability to show emotion? How is she going to know what I feel if I can't show any emotion?"

"A dream" she said, and then she was gone.

I was floating in the dark clouds, waiting. Grandma told me that in order to talk to someone that's living through a dream; I needed to wait for them to fall asleep. It makes perfect sense, but it's really boring. Waiting. Not that being dead is never boring because it is, but limbo is slightly calming and Zen. This going into dream stuff is not. Not only are you waiting for the person to fall asleep, but you also need to stay focused because you can't let your mind drift or else you can't fall into the dream.

Finally mom fell asleep, and I felt myself fall through the clouds.

"Mom!" I said.

"Who … who is it?" She replied. She sounded confused.

"It's me" I said, and she understood what I meant.

"Oh honey I wish you were here with your father and I" she sobbed.

"Yeah... well I'm not" I said sternly. I was agitated. It felt weird to me to express emotions like this. Especially after 8 weeks of not being able to do so. "You need to deal with it."

"I don't understand what you mean?" she said. She sounded as if she had been crying, and from what I had seen, she's been crying for 8 weeks strait.

"The point is, I'm dead... whether you choose to accept it, or not. I'm dead and no amount of grieving over it or wishing I was alive is going to make it not true" I felt like I must sound like a parent reprimanding a child It felt weird to be talking to my mom like this, but I continued. " It's not going to bring me back and no amount of blaming yourself is going to make it you or anyone else's fault. You're young, you have time left in your life." I said "go to school" I added at the end.

"You were-you were born 8 wee-weeks ago" she stuttered "You talk like you know more than I do about this."

"Mom don't get mad at me, I'm just trying to help you" I said calmly.

"I'm not going back to school!" she yelled at me. "Your father and I will make it through this... were in love … we love you."

"Mom" I yelled loving me is not going to bring me back... I love you too but you need to get over me and continue living, and get over your dumb teenageness and stop pretending that you're in love with dad when you aren't, at least he's not still in love with you." I said still yelling.

I did not know why or what made me say it but, it was out, and my mother just sobbed. I felt myself drifting back up through the clouds as she woke up.

Why did I say that to her. Why did I have to tell her that? As I left the dark clouds I floated over to my grandma.

"Hi" she said to me.

"Hi" I responded.

I sat with her quietly as we watched my dad and grandpa. Yes I knew that my dad did not want to be married to my mom, and that he did not love her like he did 8 weeks ago, but I was not expecting grandpa to not want to be married to Betty.

I turned to grandma and said "Is that why we're here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Grandpa won't let go of you and move on so you're in … this... place" I gestured to the clouds" and mom won't let me go so that's why I'm still here?"

"Yes I do believe that is why we are here" she said.

**AN/ I hope you liked it pleas Review and tell me what you think. I'm thinking about naming her in a future chapter but I have no name ideas. If one comes to you please tell me it in a review.**


	3. Dreams

**A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter and im sorry if there are any spelling or gramar erorrs... I did run spell check! but i do have dylsexia so mistakes can and do happen.**

**Disclamer: I do not oun Secret Life Of The American Teenager.**

**Dreams**

After this big realization about why we were here grandma and I just sat there in silence. It was complete quietness till my attention was drawn below. It was my parents talking about me.

"What if she's upset and cries…she's just a baby." My mom said to my dad.

"I'd like to think that my mom is taking care of her" he responded. At that moment I felt a presence behind me.

"He's right, I am taking care of you" said my grandma.

"Yes. You are" I said "Too bad he's never gonna know that" I sighed. Then I got an idea… "Grandma" I said

"Yes? What is it?"

"I'll be back soon, I have something I need to do." I said and then I left. I headed straight for the dark clouds.

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><p>Yes I know I said going into dreams was boring, but I had to do this. I crossed my legs and closed my eyes thought about my dad… and waited.<p>

Once my dad fell asleep I fell through the clouds into his dream.

For some reason his dream was at a park, there was a big play structure complete with a sand box, a slide, a swing set, monkey bars and anything else you could imagine for a playground to have.

I desperately wanted to play on it forever, but I knew I could not play on it I had a job to do. In my dad's dream he was pushing a little girl on a swing. I had a feeling that the little girl was supposed to be me and he was dreaming about what life would be like if I had not died… poor dad. I walked over to him.

"Dad" I said.

"Yes?" he responded, he looked a bit confused, but he went with it.

"I just want you to know that I'm fine and well taken care of."

"By whom?' he asked.

"By your mom, my grandmother" I said.

"My- my-mom?" he stuttered, he looked stunned, sad and happy at the same time.

"Yes" I said "She's awesome" I said. I don't know why… it just came out, but it was true grandma is awesome.

"I'm so glad you've got to meet her." He said "No no not that I mean I'm glad that you're dead… I just…"

"Dad" I cut him off. "It's ok… I get it."

"Oh… um… Ok"

"I love you" I said and right before I walked away. He came up to me and hugged me.

"I love you too sweetie" he said and then I drifted up through the clouds.

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><p>Since I was already in the dark clouds (or dream clouds as I like to call them) I decided I wanted to see what someone else was dreaming about. I chose Ashley, she interested me. So I focused on her and then fell right into her dream.<p>

From what I saw her dream was all about her parents letting her have more freedom. I wondered if I were alive would my parents give me freedom? Or would they suppress me.

"Ashley?" I said

"What?" she said in her usual irritated way.

"Call your dad you told him you would" I said, and I knew she hadn't too.

"Who are you?" she asked… and I did not know what to say … I did not have a first name so I said simply

"I'm Adrian and Ben's daughter" and drifted up through the clouds.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it... Tell me what you think in a reviwe. <strong>

**also I know that on the show Adrian did name the baby but for the purpose of this Fic the baby never had a name. i amd also really bad at coming up with names so can you tell me som in a review that would be really helpfull. chapter 4 is comming soon. i hope by tomorrow but im not making any promises. **


	4. DrBowman

**Dr. Bowman**

Once in the Dark clouds again I decided I wanted to pop in to graces dream. And yes I did know that all this going into dream stuff was an invasion of privacy. I did not care.

So I focused on Grace Bowman… luckily she was asleep, so I fell right into her dream.

She was dreaming about having sex with grant and let me tell you it was not pretty. I was about to leave when she saw me and then the dream changed to just her sitting on her bed.

"Sorry I ruined your dream grace." I said apologetically. "I'll go if…"

"No it's ok" she cut me off. "But may I ask who you are?"

"Well… um… I don't really know who I am." I answered truthfully.

"What?" she asked a confused look on her face.

"Let me explain better." I began "I'm the daughter of Adrian and Ben Boykewich, and since they didn't name me I don't know what my first name is."

"Oh my gosh" she gasped and she got up and hugged me. "Sit" she commanded rather then said… so I did.

Grace began telling me all about her life most of it I already knew, and it was quite boring but I listened. She told me stuff about my parents 2 like that I was conceived in my dad's car… and I was the result of revenge sex… I knew this too (I get it I'm a revenge baby)

"So um… what's it like… being dead?" she asked innocently… I know she did not mean to hurt me but she had… there is a down side to feeling emotions and this is it.

"Well it's really boring" I said "The only person I ever talk to is my grandma, and all we can really talk about is you people who are alive"

"So are you and your grandma like… the only people?" She asked.

"Well now that I think about it… no we aren't, but I don't know if I can talk to the others… it's mostly just sit and watch the living people."

"Oh" she said "So I assume you don't know my father?"

"No I don't… but I don't think he's in the same place as us" I said

"Are you saying he's not in heaven?" she asked, she looked mad.

"No no no that's not what I'm saying at all. Were not in heaven or hell were in… limbo I think" she eased up a bit.

"Limbo?' she asked "why?" so I told her about how my mom would not let go of me and how my grandpa would not let go of my grandma.

"Oh"

"That's why I need your help" I said, I hadn't actually come to her dream wanting her help ,I just figured she's my mom's best friend and my dad's ex… whatever she was to him so maybe she can help.

"Yes what do you need?"

"Well eerier today I tried to convince my mom to let go of me… in a spiritual way… and I don't think she listened… can you try and get her too… if you don't want to risk her getting mad at you I understand but…"

"No it's ok… I'll try… but I can't make any promises."

"Really!" I said excitedly "Thanks' Grace" I hugged her "I think your waking up" I added and then I began floating back through the clouds.

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><p>Once in the dark clouds again I head towards were my grandma normally is.<p>

"Grandma" I asked as I came up to her.

"Yes" she said.

"Was Dr. Marshal Bowman ever here? in limbo"

"Why yes… yes he was." She answered.

"Why was he?" I asked.

"Well because Grace thought that her Having sex with jack had killed him… and then she that having sex was something that cased death… sex may not have been right for her… but that was her way of not letting go of him"

"When did she let go of him? Was it when she started having sex with Grant?"

"Yes it was"

"Oh ok. And did the dead parents club help… or not?"

"Not as much as people think it did"

"And what about…"

"Why are you asking so many questions?"

"I don't really know… but what about my first name?"

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><p><strong>AN: tell me what you think! and if you have any name ideas please tell me.! I'm going away from all computers for six day starting on the 4th so I will have alot I will try to write a next chapter but unless I update between now and then wich is not likely you will not behearing from me for a bit.**


	5. Grandma are you ok?

**A/N disclamer i do not own anythinhg from secret life of the american teenager.**

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><p><strong>Grandma Are You Ok?<strong>

Grandma just stood there for a moment… she was just pondering what I had said, and thinking about what to say.

"Grandma" I said "What should my name be?"

"Well your parents named you Mercy … so your name is Mercy Boykewich."

"Well…Yes that is what they named me, but…"

"But what… that is your name?"Grandma asked.

"Yes but, I don't like it" I said

"But if you were alive you would have to deal with it" said Grandma trying to understand what I was getting at.

"Yes but if I were alive I don't think I would dislike it as much as I do now… I just don't feel like it's my name… I did not get to live it"

"Well I understand what you're saying" she began "But you can't just change your name."

"Oh" I said… I wanted to be deeply disappointed… but I couldn't.

"You could give yourself a middle name?" she said.

"Really" I said "but what should that be?" I asked.

"That you have to decide for yourself" she said.

"Ok" I responded and I crossed my legs and let myself float. I closed my eyes and began thinking of a good middle name for myself… then I heard a voice from below.

"I don't care how I should feel… I don't want to be married to her anymore and saying it out loud makes me feel so free and I don't feel guilty about it"

I looked down to see my dad talking to Henry and Alice … _how can he not feel guilty _I thought. But he is entitled to his own feeling.

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><p>Later after I had thought about my name for a for like I don't really know a few hours if not more …I went to go find my grandma , but before I could talk to her we started observing a conversation between Grandpa and Dad.<p>

"Dad Camille is in love with you that why she quit" my dad was saying.

"No she is not" Grandpa Replied.

"Yes she is she's been working for you for 25 years she's like your second wife."

"No Betty is my second wife"

"Dad, she's in love with you."

I looked to my grandma, she looked a bit hurt… and yes we can't have emotions in limbo but we can tell when some wants to.

"Grandma?" I said, but she turned away from me and left.

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><p>All week long I sat around thinking about what we had seen, my middle name was not as important to me anymore, was Grandma Really upset about Camille? Had Cameille been in love with Grandpa when Grandma was still alive? And more.<p>

Also, dad had been very agitated lately. HE always seems like he going to blow at any minute.

I looked down and saw grandpa trying to get dad out of class, he managed.

They we talking more about Camille. I began to wonder id grandma was watching this and how she wanted to feel about it.

"Dad are you telling me you pulled me out of class just to find out if a girl likes you?"

I wanted to burst out laughing but I don't have that ability. Then, my attention shifted to somewhere else below the clouds.

Grace had come back from her trip to Africa and was talking to my mom. I listened and I could not believe what I was hearing.

She had cheated on Grant!

Just last week when I had visited her in a dream she had been madly in love with him. (Is she really that Horney? What happened to all that just say me stuff she had been telling me about?)

I was beginning to think that she spend too much time with my mom… when grandma came over and sat down next to me. _Should I tell her what I was think or not_. I thought to myself. I finally decided against it… for now.

We sat in silence for a long time. I watched as dad went to the butcher shop… he and Ricky got into a conversation about lifelong commitment, which resulted math, with resulted in my dad getting mad at Ricky… poor Ricky… Poor Dad. I sighed.

"What is it?" grandma asked me.

"I think they just need to get over them self's, and deal with the hand life dealt them, without blowing up in people's faces and hurting others."

"Hhmm." She said "yeah that would be better for them"

Then our attention was grabbed by something else below the clouds.

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><p><strong>Sarah's POV<strong>

I saw my husband go to Camille's house. I looked over and saw my granddaughter. She was quietly watching the scene unfold. I looked back below the clouds.

Leo and Camille were talking about why she quit. I know that he loved me… and I know that he still does. I also knew that he did not love Betty in the way that he thought he did. And I know that Camille loves him and that he loves her back… and I'm ok with it…

What I'm not ok with is that thing with Betty. He will always love me yes, but fooling her and himself is only going to make it more painful for both of them when the truth comes out… and I know the Ben dose not love Amy anymore and even if he did she's unavailable… but he is just hurting himself and Adrian more. Like father like son I guess.

I saw Camille kiss him and I saw him kiss her back… but now he has to deal with Betty…

"Grandma?" I heard Mercy say,

"Yes?" I responded.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yes I'm fine… but I think I'm moving on" I said. She nodded and gave me and understanding look… then I felt myself drift away…

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><p><strong>AN hi I did not get a chance to update this befor I leaft on my trip... i also just watched the most recent episode and i think im gonna have a few more chapters and end it there. so please if you have any ideas for a name tell me... im really stuck here... i also want to know what you think about the pov change... i have chapter 6 writen in a note book i may update it later today or to morrow but no promises. **


	6. My Parents

**Disclamer: i do not oun anything from Secret life of the american teenager**

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><p><strong>My Parents<strong>

And just like that my grandma was gone. She had left limbo and gone to heaven. Just like DR. Bowman.

At first I was sad…what was I going to do without grandma to take care of me?, but I could take care of myself… my mom was wrong I'm not a baby anymore…I stopped being a baby the minute I died.

I then began to try and think of a middle name for myself, but I needed one that meant something and I was thinking I needed to come up with a first name for myself…Mercy was too… dead sounding… I was going to make Mercy my middle name and give myself a new first name.

First Name: Blank, Middle Name: Mercy, Last Name: Boykewich.

Then I saw something beneath the clouds that would have made my heart stop beating…if my heart had been beating to begin with that is.

Dad was going to tell mom what he felt… NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs…. NOT YET!But I could not tell him this seeing as I was dead!

I watched as he told her with a sad look on his face, I watched as she told him that she needed him… and I was horrified at what happened next. She had seduced him into staying with her… and then I realized that she did not really love him… she just loved making love to him.

And that's what my parents are, sluts who can't go a minuet without sex and that conceived a child on revenge, did not get an abortion and gave birth to a still born baby… and now they put me through this!

It was bad enough when I had to see Amy and Ricky "Doing it" but they are my parents…it was just wrong!

Then I realized that the only way they were ever going to get over me and let me move on is once they get over their stupid need to pretend to be in love with each other!

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><p><strong>Sorry for the shortnesss of this chapter! its not a verry good chapter its more like a bridge... not good seems unnessesary but the storry canot continu with out it. i also need alot of help finding a name for her... so if you have anyideas leav thenm in a revewe... i have the basic plot of the next chapter figured out but its long and complicated and may take a bit of time... plus i cant write it till she has a name.<strong>


	7. John

**disclamer: i dont own any thing from the show.**

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><p>All weekend long… yeah that's right they did it all weekend long. It was pathetic, and I was unable to escape it. If I had the ability to feel disgusted I would have… they are my parents after all.<p>

I mean at least Amy and Ricky are in love. I mean come on. I was going to send them a dream, but they never slept or so it seemed. All they did was sleep together. I refused to watch them talk about it with people and stuff so I decided to go hide in the dream clouds.

I sat there and thought for who knows how long. Then I noticed that John was asleep. _Ok_ I thought _I can finally talk to my 'almost' best friend._ So I closed my eyes, focused all my dream energy on John, and fell into his dream.

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><p>When I opened my eyes I saw a 17 year old boy staring back at me.<p>

"Hi" he said "I'm John"

"Oh… umm... Hi" I said sort of confused as to why he looked 17…

"Your Ben and Adrian's daughter right?" he asked.

"Um… yes… how did you know that?"I asked in response still confused.

"My mom and dad were talking about you."

"Oh ok… and may I ask how you remember this? You're only two."

"Well" he began "this" he gestured to his body with his eyes "is only my dream self. My… subconscious… I won't remember any of this when I wake up."

"Oh ok" I said. And we began talking about stuff.

He told me all about how his parents were being so loud when fighting he put his hands over his ears and said 'ow'.

"Wow, and Amy thought you had an ear infection?" I said laughing.

We talked about our parents and their messed up sex lives… and just say me…. and Grace's new boyfriend… and more.

"So do you think you parents will tell you al l about their lives in High school when you their age?" I asked.

"I don't really know" he said "but if they don't I will probably find out somehow and end up mad at them for keeping it from me or something. So" he said changing the subject "What's it like being dead?"

"well its really boring actually, there nothing to dud and you can't have emotions, I can still feel sad and or happy for people down below, but I can't cry or laugh or… feel anything and it hurts to hold all that emotion in all the time. And the only way I can leave limbo and move on is if my mother gets over me" I rambled all this out fast.

"Ok" said John when I had finished. "What do you need to do to get her to 'get over' you?" he asked.

"Well once she realizes that she does not have to be with my dad then I will move on."I explained. "I keep trying to tell her this by going into their dreams but it's not working" I sighed.

"well why do you think it's not working?" he asked " if you want them to move on and … for lack of a better way of putting it… forget you stop reminding them of you "he said

"Hhhmm" I pondered "I've never thought about that before." I said. We sat in silence for a long time, and then he said

"So Mercy why did you come to my dream?"

"First of all don't call me Mercy it's not my name, and second because I was anoyed at what my parents were doing."

" ok first" he began " stop being bothered by what you parents do… you dead it doesn't affect you and you can't do anything about it… so don't let it get to you"

"Hey that's a good idea" I said smiling at him.

"Ok and I thought Mercy was your name?" I shook my head no. "Well then what is you name?" he asked.

"Well I don't really know" I began "my last name is Boykewich my middle name is Mercy, but my first name is a blank." I told him.

"Oh ok… so are you going to name yourself or something?"

"Well yes but I don't have any good name ideas?" I admitted

"Why not Danielle… that's a nice name." he said.

I thought about it for minuet… it was a good name, Danielle Mercy Boykewich… the more I thought about it the more it grew on me. "That's a good one" I said "thanks "II smiled… I finally had a name.

"I think I'm waking up now" he said "good bye Danielle Mercy Boykewich"

"Good bye John Underwood-Jergens." I said as I drifted up through the clouds… for the last time. John was right going to my parents in dreams was not going g to help them get over me… and being bothered by what they did was not gaining to do me any good… and another good thing about not caring what my parents did anymore was that I could not fell the pain of no emotion any more.

But right now I want so badly to feel happy, because my first name is no longer a blank.

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><p><strong>AN this is the final chapter in this story... so please if you have followed this one at all tell me what you think. i would really appreciate it.**


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